Coaches in the marketplace have the same difficulty with client misconceptions as those in the Christian "world."
It's rare when I meet a leader that knows what coaching really is, yet, it's common that they are convinced that what they hold to be true about coaching is!
With these two points in mind, I begin by describing coaching in terms that differentiate it from mentoring, discipleship, and supervising. I emphasize that coaching is a methodology - the HOW - where the content of the conversation or learning - the WHAT - comes from the client.
After hearing this, most leaders realize I'm talking about something different than they were thinking about. That's the beginning of educating them about what coaching really is.
On another point, I want to address the observation that coaching in the marketplace is growing, while the Christian coaching movement is declining. I couldn't say if this is true or not in the United States as I live in Asia, however, I am surprised by how slowly Christians have adopted coaching.
My analysis is that Christians are partial to the "telling" and "teaching" methodologies: preaching, teaching, lay counseling, mentoring, discipleship, etc.
Telling, teaching, and advising all fit nicely with our Evangelical "Word" and doctrine orientation. There's also quite a bit of ego gratification in getting up and teaching or giving advise to others. It's a stronger leadership trait. It feels in control.
Coaching, on the other hand, is about drawing out what God's put into the person being coached. It requires a high degree of trust in people AND the Holy Spirit to speak to those people. At first it feels weak and "messy". And aren't people sinful and easily self-deluded anyway?
It takes time to learn to coach effectively. It's much quicker and easier to just tell somebody what they ought to do. For all these reasons, and many more, Christians (and others) may not have jumped on the coaching movement that is sweeping the marketplace.
In the end, I'm not sad about the slow adoption rate. I see Christian leaders changing and growing in empowering and developmental coaching skills. Once they get the hang of coaching, they very much value it.
As the benefits of coaching skills spread from ministry to ministry by testamonial I think we'll see deep-rooted behavior change that will last. THAT, to me, is a coaching movement. Not just the number of people who understand what coaching is, but the number of people benefiting from the use of coaching skills.
Life Purpose Coaching is just starting to take off. It is that developed by Saddleback's Katie Brazelton.
Churches try mentoring program. Mentoring, it seems to me is, "I do this this and I am setting an example for you to follow". That isn't coaching.
I've also heard criticism that "People are so self-centered, always looking out for what's in it for me?" I haven't had it said that coaching is self-centered, but can imagine some would think so. Christian coaching isn't self-centered, however. It is about taking a self-centered person and making them stand back to look at their life especially through the eyes of Christ. A coach helps them change the focus to God and his purposes. It is an undoing of self-centeredness.
Gary, That's a big reason why I wrote "Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders". It seemed to me (and still does) that it's just as important to share the benefits as it is to teach the skills. I personally don't see the decline that publisher is mentioning. All I see is growth and building excitement about possibilities with coaching in kingdom work.
As usual, you focussed on a need that I feel in myself, so to coach that others can learn to do the same.
My Christian coach never tells me what to do, he helps me to lay short-term plans for what I am going to do with those whom I serve, pointing me to Scripture and to other resources that help me to implement my plan.
His coaching remains, as he calls it, "obedience oriented", not obedience to him but to explicit commandments of Jesus that apply in the situation where I serve. I find that very motivating.
After half a dozen sessions with my coach, he suggested that I begin doing the same with others who wanted what I was finding, pointing to 2 Timothy 2:2. And it works pretty well with some folks.
One day, I stumbled across a biblical text that seemed to describe what my Christian coach was doing with me: Luke 10, the famous outreach text.
Jesus "instructed" his trainees by: a) choosing men who could follow a plan. b) empowering them to do the same kinds of work that he was doing. c) helping them to chose where to go, what to do when they got there, and what to say. d) warning them of possible misadventures.
When those chaps returned from following their short-term plan, Jesus would listen to them report on what they had done and said.
Only then did he give them more insight in response to their learning needs.
What amazes me about my coach is how he tailors his help less to my sense of inadequacy than to the needs of my people. When they get needed help, I feel less inadequate, for a while.
Now some of them are coaching others, in turn, and do not even have a word for it. Should I tell them? Or do I still misunderstand?
As usual, you are "right on." Your comments are phenomenal. One of the biggest problems I have in teaching coaching is convincing people that this is not the same as telling people what to do. Evangelical Christians (and probably others) also like to tell people what to do in counseling. Maybe for this reason many people see no difference between coaching and directive counseling. I have this problem especially when I teach coaching to people who have no training as counselors.
On a personal level I look forward to meeting you. I suspect we would have a lot in common to discuss. Thanks so much for your post. I hope there are people who read it.
Please let me respond to Rosalie and Jane together. I am not familiar with the type of coaching that Rosalie mentioned but with so many coaching models it is hard to keep on top of them all - many of which seem to be taking off.
Have you noticed how many churches are into mentoring but do not understand coaching? I agree that mentoring implies a hierarchy that is not a part of coaching.
Certainly the publisher that I referred to in my newsletter is not the publisher that produced Jane's book. I agree that educating people is a part of our role. As Christian coaches we use whatever means we can to do this - including smaller books like Jane's that are clear and concise but not overwhelming.
I love your description of the coaching you are getting. When I teach coaching I often use the biblical example you cited as a preface to what I will teach. I tell them that this is my model for teaching coaching (and also for teaching counseling). I had not thought of this as a model of coaching. It certainly is.
And from my perspective, you certainly do not misunderstand. You are right on target.
Gary Collins (that’s me) is a life coach, licensed clinical psychologist (with a PhD from Purdue University), and professor of leadership and coaching at Psychological Studies Institute. I’ve written a bunch of books, founded and edited "Christian Counseling Today" magazine, and was co-founder and first president of the American Association of Christian Counselors. I am still writing books, am an avid reader, work out most days at a local fitness center, and am determined to be committed as a follower of Jesus. I speak at conferences (frequently overseas), most often concerning the emergent church, coaching and coach training, leadership, and trends in Christian counseling. In addition to personal coaching and consulting on issues relating to leadership and coaching, I have a special interest in the emergent church and in mentoring and learning from next-generation leaders.
My wife Julie and I were married in 1964, have two daughters, and live in Northern Illinois. This newsletter usually arises from my reading, student contacts, and opportunities to interact every week with creative and interesting people – including the people who read my newsletter and respond to this blog.
7 comments:
Gary,
Coaches in the marketplace have the same difficulty with client misconceptions as those in the Christian "world."
It's rare when I meet a leader that knows what coaching really is, yet, it's common that they are convinced that what they hold to be true about coaching is!
With these two points in mind, I begin by describing coaching in terms that differentiate it from mentoring, discipleship, and supervising. I emphasize that coaching is a methodology - the HOW - where the content of the conversation or learning - the WHAT - comes from the client.
After hearing this, most leaders realize I'm talking about something different than they were thinking about. That's the beginning of educating them about what coaching really is.
On another point, I want to address the observation that coaching in the marketplace is growing, while the Christian coaching movement is declining. I couldn't say if this is true or not in the United States as I live in Asia, however, I am surprised by how slowly Christians have adopted coaching.
My analysis is that Christians are partial to the "telling" and "teaching" methodologies: preaching, teaching, lay counseling, mentoring, discipleship, etc.
Telling, teaching, and advising all fit nicely with our Evangelical "Word" and doctrine orientation. There's also quite a bit of ego gratification in getting up and teaching or giving advise to others. It's a stronger leadership trait. It feels in control.
Coaching, on the other hand, is about drawing out what God's put into the person being coached. It requires a high degree of trust in people AND the Holy Spirit to speak to those people. At first it feels weak and "messy". And aren't people sinful and easily self-deluded anyway?
It takes time to learn to coach effectively. It's much quicker and easier to just tell somebody what they ought to do. For all these reasons, and many more, Christians (and others) may not have jumped on the coaching movement that is sweeping the marketplace.
In the end, I'm not sad about the slow adoption rate. I see Christian leaders changing and growing in empowering and developmental coaching skills. Once they get the hang of coaching, they very much value it.
As the benefits of coaching skills spread from ministry to ministry by testamonial I think we'll see deep-rooted behavior change that will last. THAT, to me, is a coaching movement. Not just the number of people who understand what coaching is, but the number of people benefiting from the use of coaching skills.
Keith
Life Purpose Coaching is just starting to take off. It is that developed by Saddleback's Katie Brazelton.
Churches try mentoring program. Mentoring, it seems to me is, "I do this this and I am setting an example for you to follow". That isn't coaching.
I've also heard criticism that "People are so self-centered, always looking out for what's in it for me?" I haven't had it said that coaching is self-centered, but can imagine some would think so. Christian coaching isn't self-centered, however. It is about taking a self-centered person and making them stand back to look at their life especially through the eyes of Christ. A coach helps them change the focus to God and his purposes. It is an undoing of self-centeredness.
Gary,
That's a big reason why I wrote "Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders". It seemed to me (and still does) that it's just as important to share the benefits as it is to teach the skills. I personally don't see the decline that publisher is mentioning. All I see is growth and building excitement about possibilities with coaching in kingdom work.
Jane Creswell
Gary,
As usual, you focussed on a need that I feel in myself, so to coach that others can learn to do the same.
My Christian coach never tells me what to do, he helps me to lay short-term plans for what I am going to do with those whom I serve, pointing me to Scripture and to other resources that help me to implement my plan.
His coaching remains, as he calls it, "obedience oriented", not obedience to him but to explicit commandments of Jesus that apply in the situation where I serve. I find that very motivating.
After half a dozen sessions with my coach, he suggested that I begin doing the same with others who wanted what I was finding, pointing to 2 Timothy 2:2. And it works pretty well with some folks.
One day, I stumbled across a biblical text that seemed to describe what my Christian coach was doing with me: Luke 10, the famous outreach text.
Jesus "instructed" his trainees by:
a) choosing men who could follow a plan.
b) empowering them to do the same kinds of work that he was doing.
c) helping them to chose where to go, what to do when they got there, and what to say.
d) warning them of possible misadventures.
When those chaps returned from following their short-term plan, Jesus would listen to them report on what they had done and said.
Only then did he give them more insight in response to their learning needs.
What amazes me about my coach is how he tailors his help less to my sense of inadequacy than to the needs of my people. When they get needed help, I feel less inadequate, for a while.
Now some of them are coaching others, in turn, and do not even have a word for it. Should I tell them? Or do I still misunderstand?
Galen
KEITH
As usual, you are "right on." Your comments are phenomenal. One of the biggest problems I have in teaching coaching is convincing people that this is not the same as telling people what to do. Evangelical Christians (and probably others) also like to tell people what to do in counseling. Maybe for this reason many people see no difference between coaching and directive counseling. I have this problem especially when I teach coaching to people who have no training as counselors.
On a personal level I look forward to meeting you. I suspect we would have a lot in common to discuss. Thanks so much for your post. I hope there are people who read it.
Please let me respond to Rosalie and Jane together. I am not familiar with the type of coaching that Rosalie mentioned but with so many coaching models it is hard to keep on top of them all - many of which seem to be taking off.
Have you noticed how many churches are into mentoring but do not understand coaching? I agree that mentoring implies a hierarchy that is not a part of coaching.
Certainly the publisher that I referred to in my newsletter is not the publisher that produced Jane's book. I agree that educating people is a part of our role. As Christian coaches we use whatever means we can to do this - including smaller books like Jane's that are clear and concise but not overwhelming.
Hey Galen,
I love your description of the coaching you are getting. When I teach coaching I often use the biblical example you cited as a preface to what I will teach. I tell them that this is my model for teaching coaching (and also for teaching counseling). I had not thought of this as a model of coaching. It certainly is.
And from my perspective, you certainly do not misunderstand. You are right on target.
Gary
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